Lemon Techno
by sakachan
Summary: Trowa and Quatre celebrate their anniversary. Beware: OOC, citrus, gummy bears, and yaoi off the wall. It’s not called “Lemon Techno” for nothing!


As I said before, it's not called "Lemon" for nothing. . . OOC, citrus, yaoi off the wall. Kawaii at points, downright despicable at others. Some lines donated by my wonderful friends (arigato!) This is kind of like a line fic, where I asked a bunch of my friends for various lines. Took me a while to finish writing and shoving all my ideas together. Hope you enjoy!  
  
Note: The term "Lemon Techno" comes from a scene in a show called, "Blast!" The original name of the scene was "Lemontech," but I really don't want to get sued for such horrible misuse of names. If you like Marching Band, Drum Corps (DCI), or things like that, then you'll like "Blast!" I mean, it's won a couple Tony awards; it has to be pretty good.  
  
  
  
Lemon Techno  
  
  
  
Trowa and Quatre stared up at the clean autumn sky that was dotted with fluffy white clouds lined with grey. The two pilots lay with sweater covered backs against the soft green grass. In the near background was the rundown safehouse in which all five pilots were currently residing.  
  
A cool breeze swept across the lawn, coursing through the long, damp blades of grass. Quatre's golden bangs swatted at his closed eyes. They tickled his nose, and he giggled.  
  
Trowa opened the eye closest to the blonde pilot. The faint shadow of a smile dashed across his silent features. He sat up, turning to face his partner in battle, though Quatre was so much more than just that. Quatre glanced up and, seeing Trowa move, followed the Heavyarms pilot in suit.  
  
Trowa scooted sideways so that he and Quatre's hips touched. Quatre smiled, pulling himself so close to his partner that he rolled onto the other boy's long, slender legs. He giggled again, playing with the brown flow of hair that protruded from Trowa's head.  
  
The Heavyarms pilot smiled, a facet of his personality shown only to the timid Quatre Raberba Winner. He looked deeply into the blonde boy's eyes, causing Quatre's pale cheeks to flush with a soft red.  
  
Trowa leaned in and kissed the Sandrock pilot, taking in the boy's spicy sweet scent. "Happy anniversary," he whispered against Quatre's lips, unconsciously tasting them with the tip of his tongue.  
  
"Mm. . ." Quatre's response reverberated in his throat. He pushed Trowa back onto the grass, possessively wrapping his arms around the taller boy's waist.  
  
Before the kiss had a chance to deepen, Quatre broke away, keeping a steady gaze on Trowa's shimmering green eyes. Trowa tilted his head, wondering why his blonde lover had ended the moment so quickly.  
  
Quatre grabbed his lover's hand, squeezing it gently. He leaned his lips next to Trowa's cute little ears that were a delight to nibble. Trowa tipped his head forward.  
  
"Come with me," the blonde whispered. Trowa's spine tingled at the sensation of the Sandrock pilot's cool breath against his ear.  
  
Quatre pulled back and flashed his lover an adorable smile worthy only of Quatre Winner. He pulled the Heavyarms pilot to his feet, dragging him back toward the safehouse. Trowa diligently followed, wondering what the hell Quatre could be up to this time.  
  
As the couple stepped through the screen door of the back entryway, Trowa noticed the absence of the other three pilots. He assumed they had gone out to get supplies and continued to follow his determined koibito.  
  
There were no signs or markings on the door to he and Quatre's shared bedroom. It was simply a plain pinewood door, just like's Wufei's and Heero's rooms. Unlike Duo's room, which had a small poster that read, "Duo's Room," surrounded by cute, black, winged Duos.  
  
Duo had once tried to put a similar poster on Wufei's door. It had, "Wu- chan's Room," printed on it, and had a caricature of Wufei on it. . . with a stick shoved up his ass. Wufei had promptly removed it, and about a fourth of Duo's chestnut braid had ended up in a pile on the floor. Wufei warned that next time would not be any hair left to braid.  
  
Coincidentally, another incident had never occurred.  
  
Quatre opened the door, pushing Trowa in first. The Heavyarms pilot glanced around the small bedroom. At the bookcase filled with various titles. At the warm, blue sheeted bed that had been witness to so many fits of bed shaking passion [1], with its solid cherry wood frame and its happy little glow-in-the-dark stars. . .  
  
'Wait,' Trowa hesitated. 'Stars?'  
  
A click from behind signified that Quatre had locked the door. He sauntered over to his tall lover, turning him around to stare into those beautiful green orbs that were Trowa's eyes. He circled his arms around the Heavyarms pilot's waist. He began massaging Trowa's firm neck with his lips, tasting the sweet soap the taller boy used in the shower.  
  
"Uh, Quatre," Trowa said, ignoring the nibbling action occurring on his neck, "Why are there stars on the bed?" [2]  
  
Quatre paused to look up at Trowa. An impish gleam dwelled within the pale blue depths of his eyes. "You'll see," he whispered, suddenly shoving Trowa onto the bed.  
  
Quatre slid his legs around Trowa's thighs, sitting on the other boy's legs. He pulled the green sweater from off of his lover's lithe form and stared at the flawless chest that lay before him. The Heavyarms pilot gasped at the feeling of the brisk fall air against his bare skin. He shivered, gooseflesh beginning to form on his skin.  
  
"How come you get to wear a shirt and I don't?" Trowa spoke in his usual deadpan. But Quatre knew it had been an implication of something else.  
  
Quatre giggled and promptly removed his lavender colored sweater. His creamy white skin twinkled in Trowa's eyes, causing the tall boy to smile.  
  
"Better?" Quatre asked, leaning into Trowa so that their lips were a mere breath away.  
  
"Yes," Trowa nodded. He lifted his head up to meet Quatre's, their lips locking in a brace of passion and teenage hormones. Trowa pressed his mouth harder against Quatre's mouth, forcing the blonde boy's lips apart. Their tongues danced together on a floor of warm saliva, writhing with each other like girls in a Mormon Jell-O wrestling match [3].  
  
A low moan erupted from Quatre's throat as he slumped against his lover, their bare skin pressing together with the warmth of a thousand not-so- lonely nights. Quatre pulled back from Trowa's warm mouth and smiled into the boy's glimmering green eyes. It was obvious by now that Trowa was *very* happy to see him.  
  
Quatre smirked and tugged at Trowa's jeans. "Off," he commanded, to which Trowa immediately complied. Quatre rolled off to the side, allowing Trowa to slide off the bed. Trowa stood up, turning his back to his blonde lover. Quatre watched excitedly as Trowa prolonged his undressing for his entertainment.  
  
Trowa unbuttoned his jeans, slowly sliding his zipper down to its docking point. He carefully pulled his jeans down low past his hips, showing off more of his perfectly formed skin. Sliding the fabric further, Quatre soon realized that Trowa was not wearing any underwear. Very unusual for the French pilot.  
  
Trowa finally completed his task, his jeans pooled at his feet, showing Trowa in all his naked glory. Quatre smiled. Trowa always did have a nice ass.  
  
Trowa turned around, stalking over to the small boy on the bed. He loomed over Quatre, no longer noticing the cool air around him. After all, he had found a new center of warmth.  
  
Quatre let out a rush of air, staring up at his lover in awe. How was it possible that someone could be this beautiful and still be an emotionless mercenary? Trowa smiled and kissed Quatre's open mouth. Quatre sighed, sitting up to stand eye to eye with Trowa.  
  
"You get bottom, remember?" Quatre said matter-of-factly. "My turn to be on top."  
  
Trowa nodded. "Of course, mon petit." [4] He sat back down on the bed, waiting for Quatre to make his move.  
  
Quatre moved on top of Trowa, straddling the other boy's hips. He leaned against the Heavyarms pilot so that the bare skin of their chests was pressed firmly together. Quatre kissed the tip of Trowa's chin, his lips moving in a slow line down the boy's neck. The blonde began sucking at the collar bone like a vampire without teeth. A sound of satisfaction arose from Trowa's throat, making the young Winner heir smile.  
  
"You like?" Quatre purred, lifting his head to meet Trowa's eyes.  
  
Trowa nodded, cupping Quatre's face is his hands. He pulled Quatre up to meet him, but the blonde boy put a yielding hand on Trowa's chest.  
  
"Uh uh uh," Quatre scolded. "I'm not done yet. You can steal your kiss once I'm finished."  
  
Trowa sighed, pretending to be disappointed. He smiled at Quatre and let him continue.  
  
Quatre continued his way down Trowa's neck, coming upon the smooth chest of the French pilot. His right index finger slowly traced the outline of Trowa's left nipple. Trowa chuckled at the tickling sensation. His amusement soon turned into a surprised gasp as Quatre gently bit down on the hardened nub. The boy's tongue flicked against the tanned nipple, and Quatre soon found himself licking the expanse of Trowa's upper chest.  
  
Trowa's breathing came in short pants, and he tried to regain composure. Which was harder than it sounds, since he could feel himself stiffening like a corpse in rigor mortis.  
  
After a few minutes, Quatre came up for air, his pale cheeks flushed pink. He flashed Trowa a wicked smile and moved down toward Trowa's stomach. He stopped an inch below Trowa's navel and began caressing the sensitive skin with his lips. Trowa arched his back; Quatre had apparently remembered that this was Trowa's most ticklish spot.  
  
Quatre ignored Trowa's response and kept moving along the path toward Trowa's essence. A shiver crept up Trowa's spine as he felt the blonde Arabian gently. . .[5]  
  
* * * * *  
  
Duo happily bounced through the front door of the team's newest safehouse, followed by Heero and Wufei. The braided boy bounded into the kitchen, two brown paper grocery bags held in his arms. He set them on the island counter, rummaging through the bags in search for some kind of treasure. Heero and Wufei set their two bags each down next to Duo's, taking out items and placing them in their proper places around the kitchen.  
  
After a minute of rummaging, Duo came out victorious. Flashing his teammates one of his trademark Duo Maxwell smiles, he held a package of gummy bears above his head. They were neon-colored gummy bears, no less.  
  
"I don't remember us paying for those, Duo," Heero said in an amused tone.  
  
"I don't remember us paying for any of this stuff either," Duo came back.  
  
"Touche," Wufei nodded. "But we needed this stuff to survive. Gummy bears provide no nutrients whatsoever."  
  
"Oh really?" Duo said, ready to start on one of his debates. "Gummy bears are packed with Vitamin C. They are made with fruit, after all."  
  
"Fruit *flavoring*," Heero corrected.  
  
"Hmph," Duo snorted. "Well. . . if you dip gummy bears in chocolate, you get calcium and carbohydrates, which are needed for energy and strong bones." He smirked, thinking he had won.  
  
"Perhaps, but along with that calcium and carbohydrates, you get ten grams of fat per serving," Wufei stated calmly, "which adds to body fat, which can deteriorate a person's health." Wufei grinned. "And let's face it, Duo. You could stand to lose a few extra pounds." Heero nodded.  
  
Duo's smirk fell, turning into a deep frown. "You guys are cruel," he said, sticking out his tongue. "You're just jealous that you don't have the kind of body that women want." Duo smoothed his hands down the side of his body, twisting his hips like a stripper on show.  
  
"May I remind you about Meiran and Sally?" Wufei said, raising his eyebrow.  
  
Heero shuddered. "And Relena."  
  
All three pilots shuddered in unison.  
  
Duo regained his composure. "Okay, I can see Sally. But Meiran's dead, and Relena's. . . well. . . Relena!"  
  
"Hey, I don't see any women lining up to jump *your* bones![6]" Heero said.  
  
"What about Hilde?" Duo said with a superior smile.  
  
"What *about* Hilde?"  
  
"Hey! Hilde's pretty cute."  
  
"Yeah," Wufei nodded, "And she's also tied with Relena for most annoying stalker!" Heero and Wufei laughed.  
  
Duo began to pout again. "Hey, what about Dorothy? The way she keeps bugging Quatre!"  
  
Heero paused his laughter. "She's not annoying. . . she's downright fucking *scary*!!" All three boys crowed with laughter.  
  
Wufei paused a moment. "Hey, do you guys hear something?"  
  
Heero and Duo quickly ended their laughter. They perked their ears up, straining to hear what it was Wufei had heard.  
  
The noise was very faint, and seemed to be coming from the back part of the house. The faint sound of voices could be heard, along with the splashing of water.  
  
"Sort of," Heero nodded. "Maybe it's Trowa and Quatre."  
  
"What's up with their voices?" Duo asked. "They sound really. . . weird." He turned to the rest of his group. "Should we check it out?"  
  
Wufei suddenly looked very wary. "Are you sure we *want* to?"  
  
Heero swallowed, hard. "I don't know. . ." He steadied himself, reaching for the black handgun in his shoulder holster. "But if something is wrong, we should make sure that they're okay."  
  
Duo and Wufei nodded. Duo grabbed the knife from his black jungle boots, and Wufei unsheathed the black-handled katana he had strung on his back. Slowly, the trio made their way to the back of the house. They each pressed their ear to a bedroom door, hearing nothing. They opened the doors, finding nothing out of place. Even all of the beds had been made.  
  
Finally, they came upon the bathroom door. It was a small bathroom, made smaller by the fact that five teenage boys were sharing the space. Only by divine providence had there been three bedrooms available, plus a den that was Duo's room.  
  
Wufei pressed his ear to the door, blocking any other noises out. The sound of splashing water had become quite loud, making the Chinese pilot wonder what the hell it was that the French and Arabian pilots were doing.  
  
"Don't touch the feet! You know what that does to me!"[7] The high-pitched voice of Quatre Winner echoed through the hard wooden door.  
  
"Why do you think I'm doing it?" came the smooth reply of Trowa Barton.  
  
Wufei, surprised by the loud yell of Quatre, fell back, bumping into the anticipatory Heero and Duo. The three pilots landed in a heap of bodies, with Duo squished on the bottom.  
  
"Geez, Wu! What'd ya do that for?" Duo said, shoving the other two pilots off of him.  
  
"Didn't you hear that?" Wufei said, rubbing his head.  
  
"Yeah," Duo said, "But that doesn't mean you can fall on us like that."  
  
"Would *you* rather listen at the door?"  
  
"What the hell are they *doing*?" Heero mumbled to himself.  
  
"I don't know," Duo said, obviously having heard Heero's inquiry, "But we're gonna find out!"  
  
Duo lifted his foot and kicked the bathroom door off its frame. It hit the sink, luckily not striking the facet. The braided pilot rushed into the room, only to find Quatre and Trowa in very compromising positions, and both covered in slick, lime green Jell-O.  
  
Duo wiped beneath his upper lip, his fingers coming away with a thick line of blood. He stared at Trowa and Quatre for a moment, before his face turned lobster red.  
  
"STOP THIS TAWDRY CARNIVAL OF SIN IMMEDIATELY!"[8] he yelled, his booming voice shaking the frame of the house.  
  
Quatre looked at Duo with wide eyes. As soon as Heero and Wufei entered the room, his pale features turned a pink deeper than his shirts.  
  
"Uh, h-hey guys," he said embarrassedly, sitting straight up in the tub. "You weren't supposed to be home for another two hours. . ." Trowa turned his back to the group, but his ears held a red that showed off his embarrassment.  
  
Heero and Wufei could only stare, their words stolen by the sight before them. However, Duo was full of words, most of them not very nice words. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he yelled at them. "I might have expected something like this from Quatre, but *Trowa*?! What the hell??!!"  
  
Duo continued to rant on about the inappropriateness of having sex in the bathtub while having three other roommates, and why you always leave a note on the door when you're getting some action.  
  
Heero placed a light hand on Duo's shoulder. "Uh, Duo, I think they get what you're saying. We should leave them alone."  
  
Duo sighed, glared at the two pilots in the bathtub. "Clean up this mess immediately! It's the only bathtub we have, and I'm going to want to take a shower pretty damn soon." He shuddered, then quickly left the room.  
  
"Happy Anniversary, guys," Wufei said, before following Duo out of the room. Heero nodded, and left, trying very hard not to laugh.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Duo sat at the kitchen counter. He stared at his bag of gummy bears, then ripped the top off. He violently ripped each bear's head off with his teeth, except for the green ones, which he abusively tossed to the side of the counter.  
  
"What, don't you like the green ones?" Heero asked in a mocking tone.  
  
Duo shuddered. "That's not funny, Heero, and you *know* it!" He glared at the Japanese pilot, who wore a pleased smirk on his face.  
  
"Fine, more for me I guess." Heero picked up five of the discarded green gummy bears and happily popped them into his mouth. He slowly sucked on them for a moment, before swallowing them with a very delighted moan.  
  
Duo turned bright red. "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!!"  
  
Heero brought his face right in front of Duo's so that the tips of their noses touched. "My problem is you're too damned uptight." He grinned, his gaze turning almost sensual.  
  
"Uh, Heero, are you okay?"  
  
"Of course," Heero whispered. He leaned in as if to give Duo a kiss. Duo closed his eyes in anticipation. He felt a small, squishy object place itself between his lips. Duo's eyes shot open, and he found himself with a tiny green gummy bear placed between his lips.  
  
Duo screamed. "That's nasty, Heero! You're a sick pervert!!"  
  
"Hai," Heero nodded, then walked off into the living room to join Wufei in pretending like nothing had been witnessed in the bathroom.  
  
Trowa stalked into the kitchen a moment after Heero had left. His chest had been left bare, with a few pieces of lime Jell-O still stuck to his pale skin. He was wearing a pair of white khaki pants that cut off at about the middle of his calves. The pants seemed to be a little too tight on the taller pilot.  
  
"Tro, if you need new pants, just go out and buy a pair," Duo said, refusing to look up at the Heavyarms pilot.  
  
Trowa shook his head. "I seem to have misplaced my pants,"[9] he said solemnly. "These are Quatre's."  
  
"Ahh," Duo nodded his head, trying to shake out the mental picture of Trowa and Quatre *in* the same pair of pants.  
  
Suddenly, the fluffy blonde mane of Quatre poked around the corner of the kitchen. He came in wearing his usual white khaki pants and pink shirt, minus the purple vest this time. The sleeves of his shirt had been rolled up past his elbows, specks of green Jell-O clinging to his skin from all the cleaning.  
  
"Trowa," he said very timidly.  
  
"Hmm?" the French pilot responded, turning to face his blonde lover.  
  
"Bring Drano. The Jell-O won't come out of the bathtub."[10]  
  
Duo felt his nose start to bleed again and quickly grabbed for a nearby napkin.  
  
  
  
Owari  
  
  
  
  
  
I'm sorry. . . it's not as much of a lemon as it could be. But give me a break! I'm new at this! It's hard for me to think up those kind of scenarios without getting extremely drunk (now where's the Mountain Dew?).  
  
Will there be a sequel? Not if the gods really do exist in the heavens above!  
  
Just some notes on where I got the quotes:  
  
[1] "bed shaking passion" I thank my beta reader for this one. She read it in some summary of a Greek myth, but I can't remember which one.  
  
[2] "Why are there stars on the bed?" This one is the fault of one of my friends! Damned if I know where she thought it up.  
  
[3] "Mormon Jell-O wrestling" That's my beta again. I think she got this off one of the local radio stations. Who knows where she finds this stuff, but we don't ask!  
  
[4] "Mon petit" The masculine form of "ma petite," which literally means "my little" but can be used to mean "my dear" or "my darling." It's an affectionate term, and in the case used is meant for a boy, whereas "ma petite" is meant for a girl. For those of you who know French, you know what I'm talking about. Note: I got the idea for this line from a book series by Laurell K. Hamilton.  
  
[5] What? You honestly thought I'd finish that line? What kind of pervert do you take me for?!! (Actually, I probably would have finished the thought, but considering I was blushing profusely, I had to stop. Gomen, mina-san!)  
  
[6] "Jump your bones!" In honor of my friend's stalker. We thank the gods that you found someone else to torment!  
  
[7] "Don't touch the feet!" I got this one from the band at my school. Two of the trumpets were doing something in the back of the room while the band director was talking, and he was suddenly interrupted by this little exclamation. You had to be there to really get the full gist of it.  
  
[8] "STOP THIS TAWDRY CARNIVAL OF SIN IMMEDIATELY!" My beta reader again. She read it in a 'Big Nate' comic, I think. Except in the scenario in the comic, it was Puritan America, and the chief priest was wondering why all the youth were dancing around.  
  
[9] "I seem to have misplaced my pants." Taken from a 'Simpsons' episode. The line was originally, "I have misplaced my pants." Imagine Homer coming to the door with a brown paper grocery bag pulled up to his waist like shorts.  
  
[10 ]"Bring Drano. The Jell-O won't come out of the bathtub." Made up by one of my friends. The "Bring Drano" part was the brain child of a boy who, after taking the biology exam, wanted to kill himself, and warned us to do the same. But of course, my friend added her wonderful charm to it. 


End file.
